


angel won't you call me

by alittlesummerwind



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, a really cute piece.. SO FAR, but there will be suffering later i promise!! xoxo, various random fangirls/boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:38:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlesummerwind/pseuds/alittlesummerwind
Summary: Youtube AU in which Melchior and Moritz both have channels and weird fans.





	1. where it all starts

**Author's Note:**

> basis for this: http://melchirits.tumblr.com/post/158902803263/even-more-melchritz1
> 
> title from “Angel Won't You Call Me” by the Decemberists 
> 
> a big big thank you to melchirits and confessionsofageekyfangirl on tumblr for thinking up the headcanons that inspired this!! i hope you love it lots <3xoxo
> 
> updates for this are sporadic- also, you can imagine whatever cast you want for this! the descriptions are pretty generic, and they fit about every Melchior and Moritz ever lol. (personally I like Austin McKenzie for Melchior, but no one specifically comes to mind for Moritz for me when I write)

“does anyone else think @MOritzcracker and @melchiigabor would be really cute together”

 

Melchior doesn’t even favorite the tweet, or acknowledge its existence-- publicly, at least, but he looks at it for a while. He knows the other boy, Moritz, has a YouTube channel too, and he’s aware of him, but they’ve never talked. Underneath the original post, more people have replied.

 

“aren’t they both from Germany? its basically meant to be guys”

 

“SERIOUSLY SOMEONE MAKE THEM TALK”

 

“ok, i ship it”

 

Eventually, this leads him to Moritz’s profile, where he tweets random stuff, and mostly a lot of promoting his new videos. After scrolling through at least a few months’ of posts, Melchior ends up on his Instagram. He takes note of his eyes- a nice grassy green, not too far from a meadow in the summertime or something like that. He has a cute smile, and his hair is always mussed in every video or picture. 

 

It felt sort of voyeuristic to Melchior to just stalk him online, so he shoots Moritz a message (or tries to). He toys with what to say for a few minutes. “hey- did you see this tweet lol?” Kind of weird to introduce himself right off the bat with that, so it was a no. “hey” A little too simplistic. “hey, i’ve seen some of your videos before and i think your singing is really good” Well, maybe a bit too much information, but he figured flattery couldn’t do any harm. Melchior decides to go with that option.  

 

After only a few seconds of nothing, he receives a reply.

 

**@MOritzcracker: thanks it means a lot to me!! u do those political type vlogs right??**

 

**@melchiigabor: it’s true though! and yeah one of my big passions for sure**

 

**@MOritzcracker: thats really cool. i dont feel like im smart enough to do stuff like that lol**

 

**@melchiigabor: pshh half of it is just sounding like you know what you’re doing**

 

**@MOritzcracker: doubtful. btw, its melchior, right?**

 

**@melchiigabor: yeah you can call me that or melchi i don’t mind either :) moritz correct?**

 

**@MOritzcracker: yup!**

 

**@melchiigabor: this is kind of forward but do you want to skype? i’m better with talking on there**

 

**@MOritzcracker: sure**

 

* * *

 

After five minutes of deliriously pacing around his apartment and adjusting his hair, Moritz calls Melchior on Skype, trying to stop his hands from shaking furiously. The screen turns on and he is greeted by a boy with brown hair impeccably styled, and glasses perched on his nose. He’s adjusting his camera, and Moritz has to take a deep breath before he chokes on air. He knew Melchior was attractive, but this is nearly unfair. He fixes his camera one last time and waves.

 

“Ohmygod, you have freckles.” Melchior half-blurts, looking sort of stunned.

 

Moritz just laughs nervously, taken aback by the suddenness of it all. “Thanks.. I guess?”

 

“It’s cute,” he replies, smiling now. 

 

“Um... thanks.” Moritz repeats, turning red, giving a half smile. Though his subscribers like to send him “daddy” and other equally uncomfortable compliments, genuine ones are not something he’s accustomed to. “So, tell me about yourself, like, aside from Youtube.” It sounds stupid, now that he’s verbalized it. Two seconds into this conversation, and Moritz kind of already wants to die. 

 

Melchior shrugs. “I used to be a political sciences major, and I guess I’ve always had a passion for informing people, and, uh, being able to get a message out there. I think that’s important.”

 

Moritz is slightly taken aback by how quickly he can answer his question. “Yeah, I like that about doing videos. Having an audience is really nice sometimes, but sort of creepy occasionally.” 

 

He nods and gives a look like “been there before”. There’s a moment of silence, then Melchior says, “Do they call you daddy too?” Bad timing for Moritz to take a drink of water, because he nearly chokes. Melchior picks up on his coughing and starts laughing.

 

“Uh, yeah. And I never really know how to respond to it? I don’t know, because some of them are like eight, so it’s just massively inappropriate.”  He’s laughing too now, albeit more nervously than anything. 

“Right, right, or it’s just super sexual. God, that reminds me, I need to close my Twitter DMs.” Melchior grins, and the two of them bust out into laughter again.

 

“Probably a good idea.” 

 

They have another moment of silence as Melchior turns off his DMs and they both check their notifications. 

 

“Can I tell you something, Mo-- can I call you that?” 

 

“Yes to both.”

 

“Um, part of the reason I first messaged you.. well, it was because people kept mentioning me and you and either- A. asking if we knew each other, or B. saying we’d be cute together.” he explains. 

 

Moritz huffs out a soft laugh. “I had been seeing those in my notifications, too. And if I’m being real, I think you are cute, Melchior,” (“What are you doing, Moritz?!” his mind starts to scream, “you’re being creepy!”) “But I didn’t want to be weird and message you because of that, you know? I dunno, this entire thing is so beyond me. I’m not.. nearly usually this bold. Ever. And I’m still freaking out as this is happening-” 

 

“Moritz, you’re not being weird or anything like that-” (Score one for Moritz and his actions, for once.) “I think you’re cute too, and really really talented. And you have nothing to freak out about. I’m not going to make fun of you, I promise I’m nice. I know we don’t know each other too well, but I swear you can trust me.” Melchior replies, talking soft and slow, a change of pace from Moritz’s rambling. It’s a nice balance- he’s not condescending, but he’s real in his words. 

 

“Thanks for that, I really appreciate it,” Moritz says after some time, thinking as the words come out. “I should probably go now. It’s kinda late here.”

 

“What time is it where you are?” 

 

“I’m in California-- it’s midnight.”

 

“It’s 3 am here.” Melchior laughs. 

 

“Go to bed, Melchi!” Though he doesn’t say it, Melchior’s heart flutters a little bit at the use of the nickname. It sounds just purely adorable when Moritz says it.

 

“Okay, mom. See you around, Moritz.”

 

Moritz disconnects and takes a deep breath, leaning back in his chair. Jesus, that was a lot in a small amount of time. He could tell this was going to be one of those insane crushes where it absolutely wrecked him- no way Melchior would want him once he found out about his myriad issues. He was baggage, plain and simple. Knowing this didn't stop Moritz from stalking Melchior on Instagram for a few moments- okay, more like forty minutes, and then flopping back on his bedspread and thinking about everything in an extremely overly analytical way. He couldn't help himself. It was exhausting doing all of this, though, and shortly after reviewing the day’s events a few times and going deep into the rabbit hole of Melchior’s social media, he fell asleep, riding on the emotional high of having a crush.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> melchi and moritz have a lot of feelings and they're both terrible at expressing them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bye this chapter is so cute and they're just two big nerds who are so SHY and S O bad at communicating... im love them.. enjoy!!!! sorry this took so long to post
> 
> also ft. moritz and ilse, just guys being dudes, whats better than that

Melchior turns off Skype and decides that maybe he should go to bed, but not before messaging Wendla.

 

**Melchior: you won’t believe what just happened to me**

 

**Wendla: you sound like a clickbait article so it must be good!! tell!!**

 

**Melchior: okay so my subscribers kept saying that me and this Moritz guy would be cute together (he does videos too) so I talked to him and he was really sweet (kinda skittish) and also really hot**

 

**Wendla: TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE MELCHI**

 

**Melchior: !!!! that reminds me**

 

**Melchior: you know that like a lot of people call me Melchi.. but he said it and I almost had a heart attack**

 

**Wendla: oh you are in deep, gabor**

 

**Melchior: tell me about it**

 

**Wendla: okay I have to go, but this is seriously adorable i’ll text u later!!**

 

**Melchior: bye**

 

He can feel himself grinning as he types out the messages. It’s cheesy and unfamiliar to Melchior to be this giddy- he is normally the stoic one who can speak freely about not believing in romance, but it seems like all of the previous discussion about how love isn’t real has come back to bite him in the ass. 

 

However, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. Over the course of the next few days, the two of them Skype constantly, and when they’re not Skyping, they’re texting. Their communication is near constant. For some reason, Melchior never feels like Moritz is a nuisance or that it’s a chore to talk to him.

 

Though part of his brain is screaming “this is infatuation and nothing more,” the less logical side is pressuring him that this might be something more than that.

 

*************

 

For Moritz, the next few days he feels like he is absolutely walking on air. The conversations become more frequent, and one day, on Skype, Moritz proposes a new idea.

 

“Okay, hear me out, Melchi.” he begins. 

 

“I’m listening,” Melchior replies, resting his chin in his palms.

 

“What if we do like a video together? We can record on Skype and everything.”

 

“That would be cool. What do you want to do?” Melchior says, brow furrowing in concentration as he tries to think of something to do. “Wait, wait, I have an idea.”

 

“Do tell, Melchi.” Moritz replies, intrigued.

 

“What if we do like a Q&A type thing, and we say on Twitter to send us questions?” Based on Moritz’s groan, he can tell the answer is probably a no. “What?”

 

Moritz shrugs weakly. “We already discussed the fact that half of them will probably be.. unanswerable. And it doesn’t help that people already think we’re dating.”

 

Melchior nods. “Wait- why does it matter if- nevermind, fair point.”

 

He shakes his head. “That's not what I'm getting at, but anyway. Can you sing?”

 

“I guess.” he shrugs. 

 

“Can you just, like, sing for me?” Moritz asks, a smile on his face. Melchior thinks that with that smile, he’s essentially putty in Moritz’s hands.

 

Melchior nods. “Can I sing whatever?” 

 

Moritz grins, elated at the fact that Melchior is actually going to do it. “Sure, sure.” 

 

He sings a few bars of something- it doesn’t really matter, but Moritz is absolutely intrigued for the whole minute. If he wasn’t already head over heels, this seals the deal completely. For a few seconds after, Moritz sits in awe, not making any sound. Even then, all he can manage is a “Holy shit.”

 

“Was it bad?” Melchior winces, ready for the impending insult. 

 

“Oh my god, no, not even close. Shit, Melchi, you never told me you could sing!” he gushed, still in sort of in shock. “Seriously, that was amazing.”

 

Though he doesn’t say it out loud, this approval from Moritz means more than any kind of award or acknowledgement from anyone to Melchior. He also takes great pleasure in seeing Moritz so happy- it’s cute. He blushes a mild red (Melchior can’t remember the last time he’s blushed, ever) and grins. “You’re too sweet.”

 

Moritz chooses to ignore the comment so he doesn’t embarrass himself further, and moves on with what he was going to say before. “Okay, but now we  _ have  _ to sing together.” 

 

Melchior nods in agreement. “Sounds good to me.”

 

“I can play the guitar,” Moritz says, and Melchior has the urge to say “I know”, but that would probably be creepy, so he keeps his mouth shut. “If you want, we can do that.”

 

“That would be cool,” he agrees, and they decide to text about it later. The two of them disconnect, feeling even more into each other than they were before.

 

*************

**Moritz: help i think im in love**

 

**Ilse: ok, first of all, WHAT and second of all WHO**

 

**Moritz: ok his name is melchior**

 

**Ilse: OH he’s that hunky politics youtube guy right**

 

**Ilse: OMG im screeching**

 

**Moritz: and we started skyping and stuff and he’s just really nice and also like a great singer…. i want 2 die**

 

**Ilse: cute cute**

 

**Moritz: right**

 

**Ilse: so how did you two meet????**

 

**Moritz: he messaged me first and then we got to talking and im kind of obsessed.. not in a creepy way the only problem is that he lives in NYC**

 

**Ilse: long distance :(((( but thats really cute Mo im happy for you**

 

**Moritz: thanks Ils i really hope it works out. we are posting a video together ! ill let you know when its up**

 

**Ilse: YAY i’ll watch. i g2g but love you lots!**

 

**Moritz: thx!! ly2 <33 **

 

*************

 

The video goes up on a Tuesday, and the reaction is insane from the get-go. Both boys are flooded by notifications, and enough people have already asked about who bottoms (and tops, respectively) that Moritz wants to curl up and die in a corner. Most of the feedback is positive, but a good amount of it centers around how they should be dating.  _ God, if they keep this up, this will be a torturous few years _ , Moritz thinks. 

 

Melchior, however, is ravishing the attention, favoriting every tweet that comes his way. In a way, he's trying to imply something without saying it to Moritz directly, because well, he's pretty sure he doesn't return his feelings. The last thing he needs right now is a severe dose of reality while he's this happy. His friends are even noticing it, and the dark circles that have been even more prominent lately due to late nights on Skype. Wendla is mildly concerned about how much sleep he's getting, and so is Moritz, who routinely tells them during their 3 A.M Skype sessions that he can go to bed at anytime.

 

Both boys decide to text each other at the same time.

 

**Melchior: have you seen all of the stuff people are saying about our video?**

 

**Moritz** :  **HEY i was just abt to text you and yes**

 

**Moritz: so thoughts**

 

**Melchior: the feedback is so positive i'm really happy**

 

**Moritz: ME TOO**

 

**Melchior: also people are still sending me things about us being a couple lol**

 

**Moritz: oh i've barely looked but it's probably more than there was before**

 

**Melchior: yeah i think it's funny too**

 

Moritz paused. Funny? Was the concept of being with him laughable? 

 

**Moritz: yeah..**

 

**Melchior: what**

 

**Moritz: nothing melchi??**

 

Okay, so he was lying. Who hasn't done the same thing- lied about being okay? He figured that it wouldn't be worth the drama of admitting his abandonment issues and the myriad other problems that plagued him.

 

**Melchior: you can always tell me Mo**

 

**Moritz: i know it's really nothing tho i g2g i'll talk to you later**

 

**Melchior: ok? text me if you need me**

 

Melchior knew something was up. He couldn't find where the problem lied, though, and so he walked away from it feeling extra confused. He'd have to Skype Moritz later and get to the bottom of it all- he hated feeling like he had done something. He just hated seeing Moritz like this in general. Though he hadn't ever seen him upset (and still, it wasn't like he was having a meltdown), Melchior knew he would be deeply upset by seeing Moritz in that kind of state. Melchior decided that sleeping might be a good idea. That always seemed to work when it came to his problems.

 

*************

 

It must have been 6 am when Melchior woke up, the familiar sound of an incoming Skype call ringing out. He remembered it going off a few times, but he was sort of half asleep, so he slept right through it. Now, however, he was wide awake and he realized what it had to be. “Moritz.” he mumbled, voice heavy from sleep.

 

He swiped on his phone screen and answered. “Hey, what's up?” 

 

“Melchi, I'm really sorry, I know it's really late, I just…” Moritz’s voice was shaky, like he had been crying. Melchior could see that though he was in the dark, the tear tracks on his face were clear, illuminated by the light of his screen.

 

“What’s happening?” He was still sort of disoriented- never much of a morning person. 

 

“Do you like me? Like, as a person. Or like, I don’t know, just--” he splutters, words unsure and hesitant.

 

“Yeah. Of course, Moritz, what- why-” Melchior says quickly, words trying to keep up with his mind. “Take deep breaths, Mo, you’re okay.”

 

Moritz does so, and his breathing slows. “T-thanks, Melchi. I just needed to hear that. You can disconnect now.”

 

He shakes his head, a firm no. “Dude, no. It's six in the morning here, I'm up now.”

 

“Oh. Sorry.” Moritz grins while he wipes his eyes, still recovering from his tears.

 

“You need to drink some water, also. So go do that and then let's talk.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

*************

 

The two of them stayed like that for a while, not really talking but just taking in each other’s existence. Moritz appreciated that they didn't have to speak to just get each other. Melchior, however, kept opening Skype while Moritz had the app running in the background as he checked social media. He observed Moritz’s face, relaxed and illuminated by only the light of his phone. God, he was such a  _ vision,  _ all mussed hair and soft eyes. Melchior really wanted to run his hands through his hair- it was times like this he really hated the distance between the two of them.

 

“Melchi?”

 

Melchior blinks quickly. “Huh?”

 

Moritz huffs out a laugh. “You're staring.”

 

“I am?” he asks, unaware.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Sorry. I don’t mean to be weird, it’s just-” Melchior begins, adrenaline coursing through him. He was going to do it, really! Tell Moritz everything! This was sooner than he anticipated, but hey, he was the type to take things as they went. 

 

“Just what?” Moritz asks. 

 

“I think you’re--”

 

Click. 

 

The chat disconnects and Melchior leans back in his desk chair, groaning. What the hell is Moritz trying to say? He doesn’t even know what to make of anything at this point. Worst of all, it’s not like the accidental disconnects that have happened before where Moritz immediately sends him a text within seconds, this is clearly  _ on purpose. _ Melchior kind of wants to die.

*************

Moritz is on the verge of a severe panic attack while waiting for Melchior responds when the power comes to a screeching halt. Skype decides to crash, because yes, Moritz’s whole life is indeed one big cosmic joke. He sits there for a second, knees drawn to his chest while his eyes adjust to the dark. He mentally scolds himself- no, Melchior wasn’t going to confess love. You might think he’s attractive, and funny, and brilliant, but there’s no way he sees the same thing. You’re just Moritz. Just Moritz Stiefel, an anxious mess who not only has deep insecurities on the surface, but a ton underneath too, because if you weren’t already attracted to a boy who has perpetual bedhead and dark circles sunken deep, there’s some underlying childhood emotional issues lying there too!

 

He flops back onto the bed now, but there’s a knock at his door. Moritz considers opening it, hoping that maybe it’s a serial killer. (Okay, he knows he’s being dramatic, and he doesn’t really want to die, but it’s fun to think about). Instead, when he answers it he’s just greeted by Ilse, a lantern in one hand and a paper bag in the other. “I brought candles, and dry food. Just in case, because I figured you were sitting in the dark.” she says, and Moritz thinks she might be smiling, but there’s not much light in the room, so he can’t really make it out.

 

“You’re the best. Come in, you over prepared genius.” 

 

“I’m not over prepared, Mo, you’re just never prepared.” Ilse laughs, sitting criss crossed on his living room floor.

 

Moritz holds a hand to his heart. “You really know where to hit me, Ils.” He shakes his head, feigning hurt feelings.

 

“You’re such a drama queen, Stiefel. Anyway, how’s it going with the Melchior guy?” she asks, leaning over the lantern. He can tell now that her facial features are lit up, she’s very interested.

 

He sighs. “That’s the thing. It’s not. He’s nice, he’s patient, he’s stupidly kind, I’m just hopelessly in love with him.”

 

Ilse scoffs. “Psh, it’s not hopeless. Who wouldn’t be in love with you?”

 

“You’d be surprised.” 

 

“Eat a cracker and chill out, Mo,” she says, handing him one. “You have time, you know. You don't have to be seducing him in two days. He might feel the same way. The only way to find out is to ask.” 

 

Moritz wants to say something back, but she's right, and he resents it. “Why do you always know what to say?” 

 

Ilse sneakily grins. “I'm magic, that's why. Anyway, go for it. I'm not going to let you miss out on this guy. He seems like something special.” 

 

“He is. That's why it hurts so much.” he complains, hand on his forehead. 

 

“If he really is, he’ll see you for all you're worth. Because you, Moritz Stiefel, are incredibly amazing and funny and so many good things. Just let things play out. You never know, okay? Don't give up on something that hasn't even started yet.”

 

“Again with knowing exactly what to say.” Moritz complains as he lays his head on her shoulder, though deep down that's one of his favorite things about Ilse.

 

“You love me.” she laughs, shaking her head. 

 

“That I do, Ilse Neumann.”

 

“You better, Moritz Stiefel.”

 

*************

 

Four hours later, Melchior has neither the patience nor the time anymore to wait. He sends a text.

 

**Melchior: what happened earlier**

 

**Moritz: OMG sorry i’ve been meaning to text you all night**

 

**Moritz: my power went out :((( and then my phone died and i couldnt charge it.. and my computer was basically useless bc i had no wifi**

 

**Moritz: can you skype me? i can explain the whole thing there**

 

**Melchior: sure**

 

Well, that’s a relief. Now at least he knows Moritz doesn’t hate him. He decides to call him first. The screen loads Moritz, looking unbelievably pleased to be seeing Melchior in the first time for about six hours. (To the both of them, it feels more like nine months, though). He has that kind of childlike wonder in his eyes like always, like seeing Melchior is a real treat to him.

 

“Hey, Mo. So finish what you were going to tell me.” 

 

“Okay,” he starts, clasping his hands together. “So basically, this giant ass tree hit the power line by my place right when you were Skyping me and I was sitting there in the dark. And my friend had to come over with candles and stuff, because my apartment has like, no survival supplies in it--” Melchior feels an irrational twinge of jealously for a minute- “her name is Ilse, she’s great, and so that happened. And just like thirty minutes ago it came back.” The jealousy fades away, knowing that Moritz is definitely very gay. Another relief. “Oh, what was it you were going to tell me?”

 

Melchior shrugs. “It was nothing.” He can hear Wendla reprimanding him in his head-  _ “Melchior Gabor, you chickenshit!”  _ but he decides it’s in his best interest to not say anything.

 

“Okay, whatever you say, Melchi.” Moritz says, a little uncertainty in his voice. “I’m gonna go- love you, bye.”

 

“Wait, what?” Melchior says, heart racing again.

 

“I didn’t say anything- uh, um, I have to go, bye!” Moritz replies, words almost unintelligibly fast.

 

Moritz Stiefel was for sure going to be the death of him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is always welcome!!!! my tumblr is @totakedeadlyaim hit me up on there send requests YAA


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wtf is with these guys ft. hanschen rilow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPLOAD.. i was playing around with it for a while because I couldn't decide what I wanted to do with it.. either way i like it and i think there's only going to be like two more chapters of this but we'll see!!! i have five planned out but maybe things will go farther

Okay, if Moritz doesn’t want to die enough already, this cements it for him. He thinks he can maybe play it off like “ _ Oh, sorry out of habit _ ,” and Melchior would totally accept that answer, but it’s not technically true. He paces around his room for a few minutes, head in his hands and going back and forth between cursing and mumbling “Oh my god, oh my god.” After his mini meltdown, he realizes that it isn’t really that bad of a fuck up, he’s had worse, but he can’t imagine how awkward their next interaction will be. Maybe ignoring it all will work. 

 

*************

 

Melchior doesn’t really know how to take it all. Part of him really thinks that it’s just Moritz making an error- people say things like that all that time on accident! It’s normal, perfectly fine, no big deal. 

 

Except to him, it kind of is. 

 

He has always considered himself someone who can analyze situations and people easily. This is weird. The logical side of his brain (which he hasn’t been listening to lately) tells him that it’s human error. It’s not like Moritz is  _ actually _ declaring love. The other side of his brain, though, the more flighty and wild side, tells him that maybe he does have some interest. He thinks about the way he called Melchior in the middle of the night just to ask if he liked him, and the way he blushes whenever Melchior so much looks in his direction. 

 

_ It has to be just chance _ , he argues in his head.

 

_ This isn’t just chance, he’s really into you! Remember, he even said you were cute.  _

 

_ And one compliment is enough to ensure that?  _

 

After Melchior goes back in forth in his mind a few times, he realizes that wow, he’s fucking  _ nuts _ . The logical thing-- remember, think logical, he reminds himself-- tells him to just be mature and resolve this thing the normal way.

 

**Melchior: hey**

 

Simple and almost impossible to offend someone that way. However, he looks closer, and, wait, what?

 

**Melchior: hey**

 

✓ **Read 4:23 p.m**

 

The next thing that comes to Melchior’s mind is that aside from Wendla, there’s only one other person who knows how to handle this, and while he loves Wendla lots, he knows what she will probably say. Hanschen Rilow is the next person he can go to. Melchior takes a deep breath and dials his number.

 

*************

 

Hanschen is at Melchior’s doorstep, thoroughly confused as to why whatever Melchior needed was so important that he needed to be there  _ now _ , and what exactly this entire thing even is. When Melchior opens the door, he observes that Hanschen is dressed for winter chill, a coat wrapped tight around him. “Come in, come in,” he says, motioning to inside his apartment. “You can sit on the couch if you want. Do you want something to drink?” 

 

“No thanks. And I came here expecting you to be..” Hanschen pauses to think of a terrible hypothetical. “near death or something. And you're lucky I decided to go, because Ernst and I were going to go ice skating,” he says while taking his coat off and throwing it near the door. Melchior gives a sideways glance to his last motion.

 

“It is important, I swear. I need your help,” Melchior groans, sitting on the chair across from the couch where Hanschen has his feet propped up on the coffee table. 

 

He lets out an amused laugh. “That's a first.”

 

“Don't start, please.” 

 

Hanschen gives an exasperated sigh. “So what's the issue?”

 

“I met this guy online through Youtube, and he's really great and hot, and like really sweet. So-” Hanschen cuts him off.

 

“I bet you twenty bucks that any issue you have could easily be solved by fucking the sh-”

 

Melchior shakes his head. “Okay, no, and also, he lives in California. So that's an issue. Also, now you owe me a twenty.” 

 

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Continue.”

 

“Anyway, he's great, but we keep almost saying that we're into each other, and then random shit keeps happening, like his power going out, or last night on Skype he said ‘Bye, love you,’ and then we both freaked the fuck out.” he explains. 

 

“So essentially, there's a lot of sexual tension there and you're both too embarrassed to admit it?” Hanschen asks, raising an eyebrow. “Also, before we go any further, can I see a picture of this guy?”

 

“I guess so, and uh, yeah. Hold on.” Melchior unlocks his phone and realizes how many pictures he has of Moritz. At least 15 on his camera roll and probably more on Snapchat memories. He hands his phone to Hanschen, who scrolls through his gallery. 

 

He nods in approval. “He's definitely cute. I'd never see him as your type, necessarily, but still. Also, why do you have so many pictures of him, Melchior?”

 

“Uhh,” Melchior runs a hand through his hair. “Good question, I mean, I don’t know.” 

 

Hanschen leans in closer to Melchior. “It’s because you’re head over heels for this guy, oh my God,” He shakes his head now, incredulously laughing. “Never in my life would I think that  _ Melchior Gabor  _ would be in love.”

 

“That’s what I thought about you and Ernst, but people change, I guess.” Melchior shrugs, also blushing a little but trying very hard to play it off.

 

Hanschen sits back again. “If you’re really into him, then why not just go for it?”

 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do, but I texted him today and he left me on open.”

 

“Text him again. Persistance is key.”

 

Melchior does so.

 

**Melchior: talk to me please mo?**

 

**honk if you love death and dying [Moritz] is typing….**

 

“He’s typing something.” 

 

**Moritz: im here**

 

Hanschen hears the notification sound and looks up. “What did he say?”

 

“He literally said two words. But only because I asked him if we could talk, so that doesn’t really warrant a long response.” Melchior explains, looking back down at his phone screen.

 

**Melchior: what happened on skype**

 

**Moritz: uh i had a slip up? sorry i know its really awkward**

 

**Melchior: no not a big thing at all it happens to the best of us**

 

**Moritz: ok cool sorry for avoiding you**

 

**Melchior: why did you?**

 

**Moritz: i just didnt know how to address it**

 

**Melchior: ok well to even the score do you want to know a really embarrassing story related to this**

 

**Moritz: 100% YES**

 

“You’re literally grinning at your phone screen.”

 

“Shut it,” Melchior says with a half-smile still on his face.

 

**me, an intellectual [Melchior] is typing…**

 

**Melchior: ok so this happened in the EIGHTH GRADE and i remember it like it was yesterday, very few people know of this because it’s so bad**

 

**Melchior: alright i had this girlfriend who i’m actually still friends with, like really good friends, anyway- so one time i was over at her house and beforehand i had kind of like eaten a lot of food. but we went up to her room and we were like making out and shit**

 

**Moritz: oh god is this going where i think it is**

 

**Melchior: probably**

 

**Moritz: Y I K E S**

 

Melchior can hear Hanschen shuffling through channels on his TV, but he keeps on typing.

 

**Melchior: anyway so we were REALLY going at it and i don’t know where we were really trying to get to but either way i was working at her shirt and it had all of these buttons, and then i gagged a little bit (she mostly ignored it though)**

 

**Melchior: and i got like six buttons undone, i was starting to feel like really sick.. and her bra was out at this point and it was too late to go back**

 

**Melchior: so then we kept making out and i pulled back and proceeded to vomit ALL OVER her chest and her parents were wildly conservative so we didn't really know what to do.. eventually she ran to her bathroom and got things cleaned up but we kind of sat there for the rest of the night**

 

**Melchior: she looked at me and said “melchior…” and just paused and then after a second she went “what the HELL”**

 

**Melchior: and then her room smelled like vomit and it was my fault. that was shortly before we broke up also so those two events probably correlate**

 

**Moritz: wow that is disgusting but also hilarious**

 

**Melchior: ikr and i'll never live it down we've been good friends since and now the rest of our friends know and they always bring it up**

 

Hanschen taps Melchior on the shoulder. “I'm assuming things are fine now?”

 

Melchior nods. “Yeah. Thanks. Sorry for making you come over here.”

 

“l’ll make you buy me lunch the next time we all go out.” he grins, shrugging on his coat.

 

“Fair enough.”

 

Hanschen heads for the door and on the way out he yells out a “Have fun with your boyfriend!” but he's too far gone before Melchior can even protest. 

 

**Moritz: oh my god melchi do you know what i found today**

 

**Melchior: what ??**

 

**Moritz: i was going through my mentions and someone sent me a Melchior/Moritz fic i'm dying**

 

**Melchior: YOU’RE KIDDING**

 

**Moritz: no for real**

 

**Melchior: call me now we have to read this together**

*************

The two of them connect and Moritz is still kind of nervous that he’s going to do some actual irreparable damage to them this time, so he’s cautious. 

“Let's do this.” Melchior grins as he connects, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Let me send you the link,” Moritz says, doing just that. The thing in itself is unassuming- the title is a song lyric from some band he's not familiar with, and the first paragraph is innocent enough.

Melchior chokes. “Holy shit, this is weird.”  

“What, Melchi?” 

“‘Melchior looked into the other boy’s sparkling blue eyes and leaned forward, grabbing his chin and pulling him into a kiss. Their lips locked and their hearts met-”

“Hearts met?” Moritz laughs, but he’s a little flustered. Melchior just looks up with a grin, and keeps reading.

“‘Moritz began to work at the zipper on Melchior’s pants, who was letting out quiet moans as he sucked at his neck. He pulled down his pants and boxers, quickly-’’

“Oh, okay, Jesus Christ, I think that’s enough.” Moritz says, trying not to scream. He thinks that the two of them might be cursed or something. He also thinks that the fact that Melchior isn’t phased at all is sort of startling.

“It honestly wasn’t that bad, in terms of fanfiction porn,” he shrugs, turning off his phone. “Also, they made us sound really kinky.”

Moritz chooses to ignore the first part of the sentence and focuses on  _ us _ . Melchior and Moritz. Moritz and Melchior. Them. Together. He manages a laugh. “Is that a good or bad thing?”

“I think it’s good,” he laughs now. “At least in the fanfiction world we’re both really good in bed, and also I think you have a daddy kink.” 

He turns an obscene shade of red. “You’re so casual about this.”

“Publicity, for one, and also, it’s kind of interesting. Do you think we’d make a good couple, Mo?”

Oh shit, oh fuck, oh no, oh God. His heart starts to pound and he doesn’t really know if Melchior is kidding or not, so he just stays quiet and swallows the spit in the back of his mouth, which has suddenly gone dry.

“I mean, uh,” Moritz stutters. “I guess, hah,” he finally gets out.

“You alright?” the other boy asks, actually concerned. 

He swallows again. “Yup, a hundred percent cool, fine, normal, why do you ask?”  _ Wow _ , he is bad at this. 

Melchior laughs. “Okay.” 

They talk for a little bit longer, and Melchior notes how red in the face Moritz remains the entire time. He doesn't think anything of it, because honestly, he looks adorable. After they talk (well, rant in Melchior’s case) about religion, and some about their parents, things have restored themselves. It all feels normal, to Melchior that is.

Moritz, on the other hand, is so exhausted from pretending to feel what he's not feeling. He can't imagine how people keep the charade up for so long. It's only been like four weeks, and he's practically crumbling at this point. He needs to tell Melchior. 

Yup, that's what he's going to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback/kudos/love is always welcome!! thanks so much for reading<3
> 
> tumblr: songofpurplesummerr (hit me up there! i just had to get a new tumblr)


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow these boys are a mess!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is essentially Stupid Boys In Love...... and of course Ilse and Wendla who should get paid for dealing with all of this bs lmaoo. im sorry that this Ilse is a whole different one than the one we meet earlier, but its just more fun to write her like this. i love inconsistency and bad writing #txtit

Things are normal between the two of them. Yes, Moritz is still nursing an intense crush, and Melchior is equally as involved, but they’re back on casual speaking terms. And, okay, maybe Moritz blushes too easy whenever he says anything close to a compliment, and he spaces out when Moritz talks, getting lost in his eyes or counting his freckles, but they’re doing alright. At least, that’s how Melchior feels. 

Moritz is getting harder to read- although he’s always been, it’s been worse lately. He’s nearly impossible to predict. Sometimes, he’s erratic and nervous around Melchior, tip-toeing.

Alright, so maybe things aren’t  _ normal _ , per say. But Melchior can’t figure out why, and that’s bothering him. He’s tried to bring it up- Moritz brushes it off with a quick response or a nervous laugh, and he has this feeling like something big is about to happen, but again, he doesn’t know what. Not to sound incredibly cocky, but that’s not a feeling Melchior is used to.

Moritz, on the other hand, is a  _ wreck _ . Though he feels like he’s holding it together visibly, on the inside, he’s ready to burst. He needs to tell Melchior how he feels soon. He just doesn’t know when. He’ll come close, and back out at the last minute. In his mind, he thought it would be easier to do over Skype than in person, but it turns out, the terror is equally as bad online as it is face to face. There’s no easy way out of his feelings, though, and bottling it all up only makes it all worse.

After planning for a long, long, time (far too long, in fact), Moritz has an idea of what he’s going to do. He’s just going to be real- just say it. He filters through a few different options, but all of them seem cheesy and inauthentic. He can just  _ tell _ that Melchior will scoff at some of them, like making him a Spotify playlist or a really bad pun. So he just decides to word vomit it via text.

**crumpled napkin (Moritz)** : okay i guess ive been meaning to say this for a while and i dont really know how to go about it and im scared but oh well. melchior i really like you and like not in the sense of being buds, i really like like you (im sorry i sound like a fifth grader) and i think youre cute, like really funny, and super smart, you blow my mind and youre just my favorite person basically. so im sorry if you dont feel this way, block me or something or just softly let me down and we can pretend it never happened but i feel like u need to know

Immediately after sending it, regret courses through him. What the  _ fuck _ was he thinking? Oh Jesus Christ, oh God-

His phone vibrates.

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** really??

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** moritz?

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** idk if you’re gonna see this but I just want to say that with no shame at all I like you too

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz)** : are you being serious

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** one hundred percent, moritz everet stiefel, I would never lie to you

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz)** : melchi o h my god don’t play with my emotions

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** why would I do that

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz)** : idk i just dont get why you would want ME

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** because you are beautiful and smart and moritz

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** because you’re YOU moritz that’s what makes you so amazing you’re funny and I love your freckles like still to this day. the first thing i noticed about you. and one of my favorite things about you. you are madly sweet and so caring

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** I don’t know what to tell you for you to get that I feel that way but just know that it’s true okay

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** so what are we

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** what do you want us to be

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** boyfriends? or is that stupid

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** it’s not stupid

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** can we try that melchi

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** yes!

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** <3 call me later?

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** of course. text me when you’re ready

God is real, he thinks, this must be heaven. This isn’t real, no way. Despite what some of his viewers might think, there’s not exactly people lined up to be in a relationship with him, not counting twelve year old girls who are blissfully unaware of how gay he is and various creepy old men and women. It’s all so unreal- aside from Ilse, Moritz can’t remember meeting anyone who he connected with so quickly. The best part was that it all feels so right. When Melchior says “you can trust me,” he believes it.

Moritz flops down on his bed. Melchior Gabor is his  _ boyfriend _ .

 

**************

Melchior is officially freaking the fuck out. Moritz Stiefel is his boyfriend. He’s pretty sure he’s never felt anything like this before. And he’s already prepared for the teasing from his friends when he tells them about it. God, he can’t believe it.

He doesn’t consider himself a particularly private person, so when they Skype, he makes sure to get a picture of his beautiful, sweet, caring, perfect boyfriend. For Twitter purposes. For everything. Because while he has a lot of Moritz (God bless Snapchat), he wants one to post and scream to the world about. So that’s what he does.

 

**NEW VIDEOS ON SATURDAYS @melchiigabor**

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND pbs.twimg.com/media/342_D_34_X.jpg

 

From the second Melchior uploads it, his notifications explode. Retweets, favorites, hundreds of replies. So much positivity. As jaded as he likes to think he is, sometimes he just has to admit that there are good things in the world. Most of them happen to be related to Moritz Stiefel, though.

Speaking of-- his phone goes off.

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** call me now please

Melchior is confused, but he does it, dialing Moritz’s number with some urgency.

“Hello?” he says when the phone stops ringing.

“Why did you post that on Twitter?” Moritz’s voice is thin and small.

“I just wanted to tell the world how cute you are, honestly.” Melchior grins, but he can tell by the silence on the other end that this is not going to be a good conversation.

He hears the other boy take a shaky breath. “I just, don’t- can you take it down?”

“Why? What’s wrong with it, Mo?”

“I shouldn’t, um, probably better for another time..”

Melchior raises an eyebrow, too used to relying on Skype video chat to express. “Please?”

Silence hangs on the line for a little bit as Melchior waits for a response, staring at his ceiling.

He sighs. “It’s a long story, Melchi, but can you please just take it down?”

Not satisfied with that as answer, Melchior presses further. “I will, but can you please tell me why?”

“I don’t have to.” Moritz says, a snappy tone to his words. It’s the first time Melchior has ever heard him express anything close to anger.

“I don’t get why you won’t tell me,” he replies, pacing around his room now as they talk.

“Because--” he pauses for a second to collect himself. “Maybe, I don’t need to. Can you just take it down? Like, what’s the problem with that?”

“I can, I guess, I just want to know, alright? I’m concerned for you, baby.” Melchior says. On the other end, Moritz is trying to keep his resolve steely, but when he hears the last part of his sentence, he nearly melts.  _ Be strong, be strong _ , he thinks.

“I gotta go, alright?” he says quickly, and before Melchior can respond, he disconnects. At first, Melchior is just confused, but after a few minutes, he realizes how hurt he is. This holding back of feelings and emotions is so unique and bizarre to him. Moritz, while often nervous to give out information, normally does. What’s with this particular secret that makes him so unwilling to tell?

On the other side of the world, Moritz is panicking. He’s fucked up. He’s fucked up bad. So bad that Melchior is probably never going to speak to him. Before he can keep mentally berating himself, his breathing is shaky, his head is spinning and his mouth is dry. Why can't he just be normal and not so awkward? Moritz’s hands shake as he turns on the tap in his kitchen, trying to think about what Ilse told him to do the last time he freaked out this bad.

He nearly drops the glass, but he sits, and he takes a slow sip. Naturally, as he has predicted, he's fucked things up. Melchior has probably moved on by now.

***********

Melchior is a grade A asshole. If he would've just deleted the fucking tweet, then he wouldn't have caused this whole mess, if he wouldn't have.. He’s always the one to ruin things in his relationships, too aggressive, far too fast. He can’t help but be so in love, head first. He loves crazy, and for someone as smart as him, he doesn’t ever think. He just does.

And now Moritz has withdrawn. He doesn’t know who to go to, except for maybe Wendla.

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** help I fucked up really bad

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** what 

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** moritz

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** cute youtube guitar guy??

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** he won’t talk to me because I bothered him about something he didn’t want to talk about 

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** ...what was the thing he didn’t want to talk about? 

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** he wanted me to take down this tweet of him and he wouldn’t tell me why

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** so why didn’t you do it?

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** idk I just didn’t feel like I had to

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** okay well you need to go apologize to him

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** his friend Ilse is logged into his Skype right now

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** you still need to talk to him melchior

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):**  I know but I think he hates me and I like him so much it’s the worst feeling in the world

 

**an absolute queen (Wendla):** he probably feels worse, don’t throw a pity party. now go

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** okay ://

Melchior buries his face in his hands. He doesn’t want to talk to Ilse, who will probably yell at him for fucking with her best friend, and it would probably be even worse to talk to Moritz. He knows he’s not exactly aggressive, but he doesn’t want to any more damage. However, nothing will change if he sits here, so to Skype it is.

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** hey, I know moritz isn’t on but I was wondering if you could pass something onto him? I don’t think he wants to talk to me but he needs to know

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** maybe…. hwat is it

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** *what srry

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** just tell him I’m really sorry and I feel like such an asshole for ignoring how he felt and not listening to him. 

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** heres the thing, and mayb you know this, maybe you dont?

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** but when moritz is sad he doesnt really get mad, he just shuts down really bad. nd i guarantee you he thinks you hate him.. i know u prob dont. but his familys kind of the worst and now he assumes the worst i mean i know ur not super evil melchior but you have to be really careful ok

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** is it too late?

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** 2 late for what, exactly

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** OMG are u two like… boyfriends

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** we were for like two seconds before I ruined everything. and is it too late to apologize. i love him a lot. 

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** 1\. no. and im glad u feel that way but 2. ok listen melchior

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** ur gonan put on your big boy pants… and im gonna log out of this account, and then ur gonna TALK to my best friend. so im gonna place my faith in you. you seem like you really like moritz. and you seem genuine. dont fuck this up buddy. you basically have like four strikes and this thing was already one. so keep all of this in mind and apologize. idk how it will go. update me. my skype is @sprxngandsummer

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** ok. thanks ilse. i’m sorry again.

 

**moritz is out (its ilse bitchesss):** u dont have to apologize to me. see ya, hopefully more. make my best friend happy. or else. byeeeeeeeeee!

**************

Moritz wakes up from a nap, somehow more tired than ever. He turns on his phone, scrolling past Youtube and Twitter notifications till he sees a text from Ilse. 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** log into skype melchior wants 2 apologize

 

**Me:** why should i do that

 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** hes crazy about you mo

 

**Me:** are you sure?

 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** why would i lie to you

 

**Me:** idk. but i think he hates me

 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** HA

 

**Me:** dont laugh at me 

 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** im not im laughing bc he was all like “i think moritz hates me :((( he will never forgive me” and then here u are both thinking that you are never going to speak again even tho ur just SUPER gay for eachother

 

**Me:** for real????

 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** why would i lie to you part 2

 

**Me** : im gonna log into skype

 

**your fav ILSE NEUMONEY:** ok good luck bby!! luv u and it will go well. i promise u this melchior guy is relaly into u

 

**Me:** thanks ils. ill text you updates as it happens…

**************

Melchior finishes what must be his 30th or so cup of coffee and keeps editing his newest video. His content has been admittedly taking a backseat lately, so he’s using this time to not only procrastinate talking to Moritz, but also get shit done. He replies to a few tweets, conveniently ignoring the ones about his (ex? who knows) boyfriend. 

Final Cut Pro crashes, and he thinks this must be the universe telling him to stop working and avoiding his problems. He opens up Skype and takes a deep breath. Moritz’s Skype name is back, and he’s online, so that’s good.

Melchior starts to type.

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** i’m sorry for pushing you to talk about something you didn’t want to do

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** i’m sorry for not listening

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** i deleted the tweet, by the way

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz)** is typing…..

 

Melchior’s hands shake. He can’t really tell if it’s from nerves or the caffeine.

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** thanks. but just i gotta know are u gonna judge me for telling you why i wanted u to take it down..

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** of course not

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** my parents esp my dad dont know im gay… and they check my social media a lot.. and my mentions. basically everything and i just dont want them to disown me forever because they already kind of hate me

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** i know its weird sorry

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** that’s not weird mo

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** i’m really extra sorry now it was really asshole-ish of me to not just do it okay this isn’t your fault

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** okay thank you.. i just want to know why you wouldnt do in the first place

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** idk my pride

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** in the future… how do i phrase this.. drop it maybe? be a little more considerate of how other people might be feeling

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** alright fair enough

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):**  that being said i love you, melchior,and i probably always will

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** and idk what ilse told you but i can only do this so many times before im convinced that you arent really there for me

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** I am, I promise

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** you swear to God, or whatever you believe in

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** I swear

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** okay good because i cant stay mad at you anyway..

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** i love you too, also

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** its late here.. goodnight.  <3 ill talk to you more tomorrow

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** it’s 3 am here

 

**crumpled napkin (Moritz):** GO TO BED MELCHI

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior):** nope

 

**Dick Jumper III (Melchior) is now offline.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr @songofpurplesummerr!

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @totakedeadlyaim
> 
> SEE YA NEXT CHAPTER, FOLKS. comment, give kudos, feedback is always nice!!!


End file.
